


Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

by molstrom



Series: Wait For It [8]
Category: Sons of Anarchy, Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:07:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29377533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/molstrom/pseuds/molstrom
Summary: Last story in the Wait For It series. Time jumps through the years following Juice's funeral in One Last Time
Relationships: Veronica Mars/Jax Teller
Series: Wait For It [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1968967
Kudos: 2





	1. One

Three months after the funerals I gave in and married Jax. We got married at city hall with Chibs and Opie as our witnesses.

A month after that we decided to let Wendy have a relationship with Abel.

——————

Eight and a half months after we buried Juice, his son was born. Jax and I named him Juan Carlos Ortiz Jr, but everyone calls him JC. 

——————

When JC was a year old Jax, Chibs, Tig, and Opie went to prison. While they were inside, Opie was killed. After we buried Opie, it felt like I was losing Jax. He became more violent and ruthless with club business and colder and more distant at home with the boys and me. After one particularly unpleasant argument that ended with a black eye and dislocated jaw for me, I took the boys and went to Neptune. 

The boys and I stayed with Mom and Dad for four months until I realized that I wasn’t going to get my Jax back anytime soon. Once I realized that I bought a house in Charming, big enough for all of the kids to have their own rooms. The day we moved in, the kids and I went to TM. I left the kids with Gemma and went into the clubhouse. As I walked in, Chibs wrapped his arms around me and said:  
“You’re home.”  
“Yup. Is he here?”  
“No. He’s on a run.”  
“Okay. Can you make sure he gets this?”  
I handed him a piece of paper with my new address on it, kissed his cheek, and left the clubhouse.

It was two weeks before Jax showed up at my door. When he did, the boys were all with Gemma. When I answered the door to let him in he said:  
“Can I stay?”  
“No. You can visit your sons whenever you want though.”  
“I’m sorry, Veronica. I never meant to hurt you.”  
“Jackson…I can’t trust you anymore. You understand that, right? I moved here so the boys can be near you, your family. They need you. But, you and I? Baby…we’re done. You know that, right?”  
He started crying and said:  
“I can get the darkness back under control. I can be your Jax again. I never meant to be SAMCRO Jax…Not with you, never with you. I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t show up at your parent’s house while you were there because I didn’t trust myself with you, but I can fix this. Let me fix this.”

I had put my hands on his face and said:  
“Jax…I love you. I love you so much. I’m not asking for a divorce. I’m not going to date anyone. You are the only person I want. But, you hurt me. If you want to fix this, you need to become you again before we can try again. When Opie died, it’s like you put yourself away and just became SAMCRO Jax all the time. You were cruel to me and cold with the boys…Baby, that’s not fair to us.”  
“So…What? We’re married, but I can’t live here with you and our kids? I can’t touch you or hold you?”  
“For now, Jax…Yeah.”

He shook his head and wrapped his arms around my waist before he said:  
“No. Fuck that. I am yours. I will be Jax. I will put SAMCRO Jax away and only be him when I have to be at work. You will never see him at home, but you are not cutting me out of our marriage. You came home. You came back. Let me move in. Let me show you that I can be me again. That I can love you the way you deserve to be loved. That you can trust me.”  
“Jax…I can’t. I need to see it when you come to visit the boys or when we see you at TM. You can’t just move in and expect things to go back to normal.”

He leaned in and kissed me and I felt myself melting into him before I pushed him away.  
“Jax…I love you. I need you to listen to me when I say that I can’t do this.”  
“You just kissed me back, Veronica.”  
“Because I love you. You can’t do that again.”  
“Why?”  
“Because you’ve always been able to get past my defences…Manipulate me into doing what you want. You…the way I feel about you…it’s my weak spot. I need you to just accept what I’m saying. Please.”

He nodded and said:  
“Yeah…Okay, my love.”  
He kissed my forehead and turned to leave. As he walked out the door I said:  
“Your mom has the kids if you want to go see them.”  
“Thanks, baby.”

——————

The day after JC’s third birthday, Clay stepped down as President and Jax took over. After a vote, the club decided to transition out of guns. It was rough at first, the Irish didn’t take the change well. We had a lockdown due to the tensions and while we were there, the Irish blew up the clubhouse. Everyone got out alright, but the kids and I were shaken and the first night afterwards I broke down and called Jax, asking him to come over. We all end up sleeping in my bed, the kids between Jax and me. After that night, Jax moved in with us permanently, both of us realizing that life is too short to be apart. 

——————

Two years after the start of the club’s withdrawal from the gun trade they were finally out. After that, the majority of the club’s money came from Diosa — the escort agency they are partnered in, and CaraCara, which they restarted with Lyla in charge. I also managed to convince Jax that we should operate the ice cream parlour they are using as their temporary clubhouse as an actual ice cream parlour, at least part of the time.

——————

Today, nineteen years after Juice was killed, JC was voted into SAMCRO after successfully completing his prospect year. Like his older brothers, he is now a fully patched member. After the vote, he disappears for a few hours. When he comes back, his hair is shaved in that stupid mohawk Juice always had and he has gotten those tribal tattoos on his scalp. When I saw him for the first time in his kutte a year ago, I cried because he looked so much like Juice. But today? With that stupid haircut and tattoos? The resemblance is uncanny. It’s like Juice is walking towards me and I start sobbing. 

Chibs chuckles next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulders as he says:  
“Oh, Mom. Your boys will be fine. You know that.”  
I shake my head and say:  
“It’s not that…Look at him. It’s like seeing Juice.”  
He kisses the side of my head and says:  
“You’re right, love. It’s like seeing Juicy-Boy. It hurts a little less every time I look at him though.”  
He lets go of me as JC reaches for me. I wrap my arms around my son and whisper:  
“He would be so proud of you, Juan Carlos.”  
“You think so, Mama?”  
“Baby, this club was your Daddy’s family. He’d be so proud of you and your brothers for choosing to follow in his footsteps.”  
“What about you, Mama? Are you proud or do you wish we had chosen a different life?”  
“Do I wish you hadn’t chosen a life that got a lot of people I love killed? Yeah, sweetheart, I do. But…how could you? This is what you were raised with. Your Dad, your Uncles…It would be unreasonable for me to hope that you’d choose a different life. Of course I am proud of you. You are doing what you want to do. Exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

As we’re hugging Abel, Xander, and Jax walk up and join us. Each wrapping his arms around us. When the boys all let go, Jax keeps his arms around me and I lean back against him before saying:  
“Look at these beautiful boys. You’d better keep them safe, Mr. President. Something happens to my boys I’m coming after you.”  
“Yes, dear.”  
The boys all smirk and kiss my cheek before saying:  
“Over-Protective Mama.”  
“That’s my job, boys. Go. Enjoy the party.”  
“What are you going to do?”  
Before I can answer, Jax says:  
“I’m taking her home. See how loudly I can make her scream without our annoying adult children at home.”

They all grimace and Abel says:  
“Jesus, Dad. None of us want to hear that. We want to pretend you and Mama haven’t had sex in at least a decade.”  
“Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but your Mama and I have sex multiple times a day.”  
I shake my head and roll my eyes.  
“Boys. Go have fun. Ignore your Dad.”

The boys walk off and Jax kisses my neck and says:  
“Let’s go home, my queen.”  
“You sure you don’t want to stay for the party?”  
“Oh, I’m sure. Let’s get out of here before the Mayans show up and I’m stuck in a never-ending conversation with Marcus.”  
“Alright. Let’s take your bike, we’ll just leave my car here.”

When we get home and inside I turn to face him, gently running my fingers over the wrinkles he’s recently developed on his face and the few grey hairs in his beard and through his hair. He tucks a bit of my hair behind my ear and says:  
“What are you thinking, my love?”  
“I’m trying to figure out what Juice would look like if he were still alive. Would he be going grey? Would he have given up on that stupid mohawk? Would he have wrinkles? New scars?”

He picks me up and carries me over to the couch, sitting down with me on his lap.  
“I think he would have given up on the mohawk. I think he would have grown out his hair so we could see those curls of his. I think he’d have grey…I mean, how could he not? Putting up with you is exhausting.”  
“You think you’re funny, but you aren’t.”  
“You love me.”  
“Yes, I do. But that doesn’t mean you’re funny.”  
“I’m hilarious.”  
“You’re delusional. Now, didn’t you say something about making me scream while the boys aren’t home?”  
“I did.”

He kisses me and then there’s a knock on the door. I shake my head and get up to answer it. When I open the door there are two Mayans standing there. I smile at them and say:  
“Angel. EZ. What can we do for you boys?”  
Angel says:  
“Veronica. The lovely Reaper Queen. We were sent to find el Padrino. We thought if he’d be anywhere but the clubhouse, it’d be here.”  
“Come on in boys. He’s not here, but I know where he’ll be. I’ll go get him. Jax is in the living room.”  
Angel walks past me towards the living room as Jax walks out. As they hug, EZ says:  
“I’ll drive you wherever you’re going, V.”  
“Yeah. Okay. Thanks, EZ.”  
I turn and look at Jax before saying:  
“We’ll be right back. Just have to go find Marcus.”  
“You won’t have to look far. He’ll be with Juice and Angelica.”  
I nod and say:  
“Yeah. He will.”

EZ and I walk out the door and put our helmets on as we get on his bike.  
“Where are we going?”  
“The cemetery.”  
When we get to the cemetery EZ walks next to me, eyes scanning for danger.  
“Stand down, EZ. No-one is going to attack us. Not here. Not tonight. They know better.”  
“Why not tonight?”  
“It’s the anniversary of Juice’s death and the day his youngest son patched SAMCRO.”  
“How many years?”  
“Nineteen. It’s been nineteen years since I’ve seen or touched the love of my life.”  
“Veronica, I’m sorry.”  
“I’m fine, EZ. He’s with our daughter. I’ll see him again.”

As we approach Juice and Angelica’s grave, I see Marcus standing there. I gesture for EZ to hang back and walk up to Marcus, sliding my hand into his and resting my head on his shoulder.  
“Hi, little girl.”  
“Hey, old man. The Reyes brothers are looking for you.”  
“Couldn’t come to town without visiting Juan Carlos.”  
“I know. You never do.”  
“Especially today.”  
“Yeah. I came by this morning. Told him about the vote.”  
“He’d be so proud of those boys…And of you and Jax for how you raised them.”  
“You think?”  
“Yeah, sweetheart. I think so. Weevil would too, you know. He’d be so fucking proud of the life you’ve built, the kids you’ve raised, what you’ve helped Jax turn SAMCRO into, how you support young Mayans too…He’d be thrilled.”  
“I miss them so fucking much, Marcus.”  
“I know, chiquita.”  
“Come on. Let’s go back to the house. EZ’s freaking out about us being out here in the open.”  
“Yeah, he worries.”  
I let go of his hand and kneel in front of their headstone, brushing my lips against it before quietly saying:  
“Goodnight, my loves. I’ll see you soon.”


	2. Two

Marcus helps me up and we walk over to EZ. When we get to the parking lot Marcus gets in his car and EZ and I get on his bike. We drive back to the house and walk inside to find all three of my sons in the living room with Jax and Angel.   
“Didn’t I tell you three to enjoy the party?”  
Xander smirks and says:  
“You did, Mama. You did. But we’re all adults and don’t have to listen to you anymore.”  
“You know, when I’m gone you are going to wish that you listened to me more.”  
Abel’s eyes fill with tears and he says:  
“No, Mommy. We’re just going to wish that you were still here.”

Marcus squeezes my arm and says:  
“What haven’t you told me?”  
“The cancer’s back. It’s aggressive and has spread to my other organs. The doctors said even with treatment I’m looking at a 2% chance of survival, so…I decided to not get any treatments.”  
“Veronica…You are a fighter. You can’t just give up.”  
“Marcus…You think accepting the fact that I’m dying is easy for me? That it’s easy for me to consider leaving my sons? Leaving Jax? Marcus, I’ve lived a long, full life. It’s okay. I’m ready.”  
He wraps his arms around me and I hug him tightly before walking over to the couch and curling up against Jax. Abel, Xander, and JC all curl up near us, all of them touching me somehow. Marcus sits in the chair facing the couch and says:  
“How long?”  
“Doctors say a month, maybe two.”  
“Does the rest of SAMCRO know?”  
“Yeah. That’s why they bumped JC’s patching-in up a month.”  
“What can I do?”  
“Help Jax after I’m gone? Don’t let him become the monster he became after Opie died.”  
“I’ll do my best, my darling.”

Jax pokes me in the side and says:  
“Excuse me. I didn’t become a monster after Opie died.”  
“Uh…Yeah, ya did. That’s why I took the kids and left. That’s why we were separated for over a year. Have you just blocked it from your memory? Because I’m pretty sure Dad still has the pictures he took of my injuries after that last fight.”  
“Why did he take pictures?”  
“Why does Keith Mars do anything, dear?”  
“To torture his son-in-law?”  
“That’s exactly it. Yes.”

EZ says:  
“So SAMCRO’s going to be without a queen?”  
“Yeah…At least until Jax gets remarried.”  
Jax scoffs and says:  
“That’s never gonna happen. You’re it for me, baby.”  
I roll my eyes and say:  
“Well, maybe Wendy can act as queen. She’s already agreed to be the terrifying mother-in-law to whoever my babies marry.”  
EZ says:  
“Why would she do that?”  
“She’s Abel’s biological mother, sweetheart.”  
Abel says:  
“And I love her, but she isn’t you, Mama.”  
I smile softly and run my hand over Abel’s blonde hair before saying:  
“Te amo, dulce chico.” (I love you, sweet boy.)  
“Yo también te amo mamá.” (I love you too Mama.)  
JC and Xander both say:  
“Hey. What about us?”  
“Nope. I only love your brother.”  
Marcus shakes his head fondly and laughs as he says:  
“Same Veronica…After all these years, still so damn snarky.”  
“Well, I’d hate to surprise people.”

I sit there quietly for a while, enjoying being with some of my favourite people, enjoying listening to them talk about the clubs, and then there’s a knock on the door. EZ stands up and says:  
“I’ll get it.”  
I smile at him and say:  
“Thanks, EZ.”  
When he comes back he has Chibs and Tig with him. I look at them both and shake my head.  
“Why aren’t you two at the party?”  
Chibs raises an eyebrow and says:  
“We’re too old for that shite. The party is for the young ones, and they’re all here.”

They both walk over to me and lean over the boys to kiss me before sitting down on chairs near Marcus. EZ and Angel rearrange themselves, sitting on the coffee table and fireplace ledge before Tig says:  
“How are you feeling, Ronnie?”  
“Tired, but I’m okay Tiggy.”  
“No pain?”  
“No. No pain. Just nauseous and tired. I think my body’s decided that there’s no reason to send pain signals at this point. It’s figured out it’s dying.”  
“Isn’t there a possibility that the doctors are wrong?”  
“Tig…Alexander…I have accepted this. I need you to. I need all of you to. I can’t be worried about what is going to happen to you when I go.”  
“You’re only 44. We shouldn’t have to worry about losing you already.”  
“Shhh…Tig, this doesn’t help anyone. Let’s just enjoy the little bit of time we have left. Okay?”  
Tig opens his mouth to say something, but Chibs and Marcus both reach out and smack him before Chibs says:  
“Whatever you need, doll.”  
I smile at Chibs and say:  
“Thank you, Filip.”

We all sit and talk for a while, with me holding JC’s hand and stroking Abel’s hair as Xander rests his head on my shoulder. Marcus looks at us and smiles fondly as he says:  
“I’ve never seen adult sons as attached to their mother as you boys are.”  
Xander shrugs and says:  
“Mama is awesome.”  
Marcus nods and says:  
“Yes. She is.”  
I turn my head and kiss the top of Xander’s head before saying:  
“She’s also exhausted, so excuse me, boys, but I’m going to go to bed.”  
The boys all move away from me and I stand up, kissing Jax before kissing all the other guys on the cheek as I leave the room.

Once I’m in my room I get changed for bed, pausing to run my fingers along the scar on my abdomen, the one I got during my treatment when I was first diagnosed with uterine cancer. After trying traditional radiation therapy and chemotherapy they finally tried brachytherapy, which is where they put the radioactive material inside of you. I was cancer-free for almost three years before it came back. 

I’m asleep when Jax comes to bed. I wake up when he pulls me into his arms and kisses my head, crying like he’s done every night since the diagnosis. He doesn’t show it when he thinks I’m awake, but I know this is killing him. Not being able to fix the thing that’s hurting me…Not being able to save me. Doing nothing and just accepting the bad is not in his nature. As I’m falling back asleep I hear him whisper:  
“Take me instead. Don’t take her. Don’t make me live without her.”


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the chapters will be from JC's perspective now, unless otherwise stated.

————————  
JC’s perspective  
————————

A month after my patch-in, Mama became too weak and sick to get out of bed, so we all took turns being with her. Twenty-four hours a day, one of us was sitting with her. We read to her, watched tv with her, or looked at photo albums and listened to the stories of her childhood and ours when she was feeling up to it, and just laid there and held her when she was too sick to do anything else. 

Two months after she became bed-bound, the day after Abel’s twenty-third birthday, Chibs was with Mama, reading to her, when she stopped breathing. The rest of us were on a club run, and by the time we got home, the hospital had declared her dead and Chibs was inconsolable by her side. Dad wrapped his arms around Chibs and they cried together while my brothers and I called the grandparents, the other SAMCRO members, Marcus, Wendy, Auntie Lyla, Uncle Wallace, Uncle Darrell, and Auntie Mac. 

A week later we had her funeral, burying her next to Daddy. Every Sons of Anarchy charter was in attendance, along with all the Mayan charters, the Charming-Morada Sheriff’s department, and the whole family.

The headstone we chose for her is a double one, with the other side blank, just waiting for us to have to bury Dad. Mama’s side has a picture of a crown, “Veronica Ortiz-Teller”, her birth and death dates, and “Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Queen” on it. As they lowered her into the ground, Dad wrapped his arms around Xander and me while Abel rested his hands on Dad’s shoulders, and I heard Dad whisper:  
“There are moments that the words don’t reach. There is suffering too terrible to name. You hold your child as tight as you can and push away the unimaginable. The moments when you’re in so deep, it feels easier to just swim down.”  
“What’s that from, Dad?”  
“Your Daddy wrote it on the back of a letter. Your Mama got the letter after he died.”  
“They’re together now.”  
Dad just nodded as Marcus walked up and put his hand on my shoulder before he quietly said:  
“Death doesn’t discriminate. It just takes and it takes, and we keep living anyway.”  
“That sounds like something Mama would have said.”  
“It is. She said it to me the day we buried Weevil, while we were talking about how much she missed Juan Carlos.”

We had a club wake for Mama, at the clubhouse like usual, but Dad said he couldn’t handle going, so my brothers and I went home with him so he wasn’t alone. One by one, all the people who loved Mama most…The grandparents, Uncle Wallace, Uncle Darrell, Auntie Mac, Auntie Lyla, Ellie, Kenny, Marcus, EZ, Angel, Chibs, and Tig…They all showed up at the house. Dad told me to pull out Mama’s photo albums and we all sat around, drinking, looking at pictures, and talking until late into the night.

Aside from Dad drinking more than usual and us hearing him cry himself to sleep at night, life was almost normal without Mama…At least for a while. Then he started drinking more, stopped coming to the clubhouse, stopped being our president…Chibs picked up the slack for a while, thinking it would get better, but three months later, Dad was worse than he was at the beginning. He was always drunk, he wasn’t sleeping or eating properly, and was mean. Finally, Chibs, Tig, and Bobby showed up at the house to try to talk some sense into him. It didn’t work. He refused to talk to them, just sat there and kept drinking. Abel called Wendy the next day and when she came over to talk to Dad, it didn’t go well. He yelled at her about not needing advice from a junkie whore and she left. My brothers and I decided it was time to call Marcus. When Marcus got to the house he sat next to Dad and wrapped his arms around him before saying:  
“She would not be okay with this, Jackson.”  
“I know. I don’t know how to live without her.”  
“Not like this, hermano.”  
Dad started crying and said:  
“What do I do, Marcus?”  
“You do what she did when she lost Angelica, when she lost Weevil, and when you both lost Juice. Be strong. Keep living. Take care of yourself, your boys, your club. Get your shit together. And for God’s sake, take a fucking shower.”  
Dad started laughing and said:  
“Okay, brother.”  
Marcus kissed the side of Dad’s head and left the house. A few minutes later Dad called for us, saying:  
“Boys? Can you come here?”  
We all walked into the room and Dad said:  
“I’m sorry. Your Mama would be so disappointed in me.”  
Xander scoffed and said:  
“She’d kick your ass.”  
Dad laughed and said:  
“Yeah. She would. I’m done. I’m going to get my shit together.”  
Abel said:  
“And take a shower?”  
“I don’t smell that bad, do I?”  
“Dad, you could fell a skunk.”  
“I’ll go do that now.”

While he was in the shower, Abel took all of the booze in the house to the clubhouse and gave everyone there strict orders to not give Dad any alcohol, at least until he wasn’t grieving anymore. The next day, Dad was back on his bike and stepping back into his role of president.


	4. Four

Two years later, on my twenty-first birthday, my brothers, EZ, Angel, Coco, and Coco’s daughter (and Xander’s girlfriend) Letty decide they need to take me to a club.  
“Guys, I’ve been drinking since I was twelve. I don’t need to go to the club.”  
Letty smacks me and says:  
“It’s a right of passage, asshole. You’re going.”  
“I’m not the brother you get to boss around Lets. Have you forgotten?”  
“I get to boss all you idiots around. Go get dressed.”

Once I’m dressed I let her drag me out of the house while Dad, Chibs, Bobby, and Tig sit in the living room laughing at me. We head to Oakland to go to a club and once we’re inside we drink and dance for a while…Until a group of girls walks in. I’m dancing with Letty when they walk in and when I see them I stop moving and Letty says:  
“What, Spaz? What’s wrong with you?”  
“Look, Letty.”  
She turns around and says:  
“Sorority girls…So?”  
“No, Letty. Her.”  
“Oh. You should talk to her.”  
The girl is gorgeous, tiny and petite with long blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. I know I’m staring, but I can’t help it, and then she looks over at me and smiles before looking back at her friends. Suddenly I have arms over my shoulders as both my brothers walk up to stand beside me. Abel says:  
“She looks like Mama.”  
“Yeah. I guess she does.”  
Xander says:  
“You realize that wanting to fuck a girl who looks like our mother is twisted, right? Like…Tig level of twisted.”  
“She looks a little like Mama…Aside from the tiny, blonde thing there are more differences than similarities.”  
They both laugh and Abel says:  
“Whatever you say, brother. I’m going to go talk to her friend. Stop being a creeper.”  
I nod and walk over to where the girls are, reaching out and gently touching her back so she’ll turn around. 

When she does, she’s smiling and her eyes are sparkling playfully.   
“Hi. I’m JC. You want to dance?”  
“Sure. I’m Lilly.”  
As I lead her towards the dance floor she runs her fingers along the reaper tattoo on my forearm and says:  
“You’re in the Sons of Anarchy?”  
“Yeah. Is that a problem?”  
“No. Are you from Charming?”  
“Yeah.”  
“So you knew Veronica?”  
“She’s my mom. How do you know of her?”  
“My Dad went to high school with her. She helped him kidnap me. I always wanted to thank her. When she died Dad was devastated. I guess they were close at one point.”  
“Your dad is Duncan Kane? The head of Kane Software?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I think our parents dated before mom started dating my dad.”  
“Probably. That would explain the way Dad always talked about her.”

As we’re dancing, I run my fingers up her sides from her hips to her ribcage just below her breasts and she says:  
“You have two brothers, right? Dad said that Veronica had three sons.”  
I wink and say:  
“Yeah. I’m the youngest and prettiest.”  
“Well, I believe that. You’re awfully pretty.”  
“Are you just dancing with me because I’m Veronica’s son?”  
“No. Are you always this trusting of people?”  
“Yeah. Comes with the territory.”  
She moves closer to me, running her fingers along my scalp tattoos as she says:  
“Please tell me there is a good story behind these.”  
“I’m basically my father’s twin. When I patched into SAMCRO I shaved my head into this mohawk like he always had and got the head tattoos that he had…it’s like a tribute.”  
“Just you being you didn’t seem like enough of a tribute?”  
“Nope. I also got my reaper tattoo where he had his and I have two skulls on my chest with the words ‘son’ and ‘shine’ like he had too. I never met him. He was murdered when mom was only six weeks pregnant with me.”  
She puts her hand on the side of my neck and runs her thumb along my jaw as she says:  
“I never met my mom. She died when she had me. Dad has a few pictures, I look a lot like her.”  
“We’re quite a pair, huh?”  
“Your mom remarried, right?”  
“Yeah. My dad is the president of SAMCRO. He, mom, and my biological father were all together before Juice, my biological father died. He convinced mom to marry him a few months after the funeral.”  
“They were all together?”  
“Yeah. Mom and my biological dad were together first, for years. They had known each other their whole lives. Dad and my brother Abel were recent additions to the family when my biological dad was murdered.”  
“So Abel is not your biological brother?”  
“No. His biological mom is Dad’s ex-wife, but mom had been part of his life since he was born and started raising him when he was three. He still calls her Mommy.”  
“That’s adorable.”  
“I guess.”  
We dance and hang out for a couple of hours until Angel yells across the bar:  
“Juicy Jr! It’s time to go. We have a run in the morning.”  
I shake my head and kiss her cheek saying:  
“Sorry about him. The Mayans never taught him any manners. Mom tried, but they didn’t take.”  
“It’s okay. If you have a run tomorrow, you should go. I’m going to be in Charming this weekend, maybe we could get together?”  
“Yeah. Come by Teller-Morrow whenever you get to town. If I’m not there someone will find me.”  
“Will do.”  
I kiss her cheek again and start to walk away but she grabs my wrist and pulls me back to her, saying:  
“You’re not leaving without giving me a proper kiss goodbye, are you?”  
I put my hand on her cheek and say:  
“You’re right. What was I thinking?”  
As I pull her towards me she grins and says:  
“I have absolutely no idea.”  
When our lips touch I feel sparks and I pull her closer to me, trying to hold onto that feeling. As she pulls back she says:  
“Slow down, tiger. I felt it too. I’ll see you in a few days.”  
I rest my head on her forehead and say:  
“Yeah. Okay. Goodbye, Lilly.”  
She smiles and says:  
“Goodbye, JC.”


	5. Five

A couple of days later, Dad, Chibs, Tig, Abel, and I are standing around the picnic table outside the clubhouse having a smoke when Lilly pulls into the parking lot. As she starts walking towards us, Dad sharply inhales and says:  
“Wow, she looks a lot like your mama from a distance.”  
I shrug and say:  
“Less up close.”

I put out my smoke and walk over to her. When I get to her she grins at me and wraps her arms around my neck, saying:  
“Hi, JC.”  
“Hi, baby.”  
I kiss her and when we pull apart she says:  
“Can I make a request?”  
“Sure.”  
“Can you quit smoking? I’m not a fan of the taste.”  
“I can try.”  
“That’s all I can really ask. Do you have club stuff today or can I steal you?”  
“What’s your plan?”  
“I was thinking maybe you could take me to your place.”  
“Full disclosure? I still live at home. We all do.”  
“No judgement here. Who are the people staring at us?”  
“Dad, brother, uncles. Want to meet them?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Brave girl.”

I take her hand and lead her over to the table. When we get there, all the guys stand up, on their best behaviour. I shake my head at them and say:  
“Lilly, this is my Dad Jax, my brother Abel, my Uncle Tig, and my Uncle Chibs.”  
She grins and shakes everyone’s hand as Dad stares at her. When she looks at him and raises an eyebrow he says:  
“I’m sorry. You look so familiar.”  
She laughs and says:  
“If you’ve ever seen pictures from when Veronica was a cheerleader, that’s why. My mom and aunt were cheerleaders with her. Apparently, I look like a combination of the two of them.”  
“You’re Duncan and Meg’s daughter. The one Veronica helped kidnap.”  
“That’s me.”  
“You’re older than my son.”  
“True. I think I’m older than all of your sons.”  
“Yes. You are.”  
I roll my eyes and say:  
“Dad, it’s less of an age difference than you and mama.”  
Dad looks like he’s about to say something, but Chibs smacks him and says:  
“Ronnie would be good with this, Jackie-Boy.”

Dad sighs and says:  
“Fine. I’ll shut up.”  
I grin and kiss Dad’s cheek before saying:  
“You don’t need me today, right?”  
“Nah. Your brothers can pick up your slack. But you know that means Abel will pawn the Mayan run off on you tomorrow.”  
“Yeah, like he wasn’t going to do that anyway. I don’t mind going South. I get to see Uncle Marcus and the guys.”  
“You mean el Padrino? I mean, after all, he is actually your godfather.”  
“You think you’re clever and funny, but you aren’t.”  
“You sound like your mama.”  
“Well, she was always right.”  
“She certainly thought so.”  
I grin at him again and say:  
“We’re going to take off. Be good today boys.”

I take Lilly’s hand again, interlacing our fingers as I lead her over to my bike. As we get there and I hand her a spare helmet, a sheriff’s department car pulls into the lot and parks nearby. Uncle Eli gets out and walks towards me, saying:  
“Juan Carlos, what are you up to today?”  
“Why? You here to arrest me, Uncle Eli?”  
“Why? You do something that warrants being arrested?”  
“Not that I recall, but I’ll be sure to let you know if that changes.”  
“Good man. I’m just here to remind you boys that your Auntie Rita wants you all to come for dinner tonight before you go South tomorrow.”  
“We’ll be there. Can I bring Lilly?”  
“I assume this is Lilly?”  
“Right, yeah. Manners. Lilly, this is Eli Roosevelt, Uncle Eli, this is Lilly Kane.”  
Lilly lets go of my hand so she can shake Eli’s and says:  
“It’s nice to meet you, sir.”  
“You as well. Would you like to join us for dinner?”  
“Yes, sir. I’d like that.”  
“Well then, I will see you both this evening. I’ll go remind the other boys now.”

As he walks away, Lilly and I get on my bike and leave the parking lot. When we get to the house I say:  
“Do you want a tour?”  
“Not really. Why don’t you just show me your room?”  
I take her hand and say:  
“I can do that.”  
As we walk down the hall towards my room we pass old family pictures that Mama framed and hung on the wall and Lilly stops.   
“You really do look just like him. You’re practically his clone.”  
“Yeah. Dad jokes that I’m Daddy reincarnated.”  
“Your brother looks a lot like him too, but not as much as you.”  
“We have a half-uncle from Mama’s mother’s second marriage, and Xander actually looks a lot like him, just with Daddy’s skin tone and hair colour.”  
“You’re prettier.”  
I wink at her and say:  
“Yes. I am.”

She’s staring at a picture we took right before Mama got too sick…Mama’s standing in the middle with Dad and Abel behind her and Xander and me beside her. We’re all laughing at the person behind the camera, EZ, I think.  
“She really was tiny. You all just dwarf her.”  
“Yeah. She was like, 5’1” on a good day. But she was fierce. She did things that club members have a hard time doing. She allowed herself to be kidnapped when she was pregnant with Xander in order to protect Abel. The guy raped her and took her to Belfast. While she was there she let the club use her as bait to get a hold of an IRA guy they needed…She didn’t even blink. Mama was a badass.”  
“Does that kind of stuff happen to old ladies a lot?”  
“It used to…When we were running guns for the IRA. It’s much safer now.”  
“So the Sons don’t run guns anymore?”  
“No. We own an escort agency and a porn studio.”  
“So why the trip down South?”  
“We help the Mayans with protection runs sometimes. No big deal.”  
“So you’ll be doing something dangerous tomorrow?”  
“I guess, technically? But it’s always a cakewalk.”  
“I don’t know how I feel about that.”  
“You knew I was SAMCRO, Lilly.”  
“I know. I guess I didn’t think about how the knowledge of you doing something dangerous would affect me. Honestly, I didn’t think it would, but…”

I turn and face her, putting my hand on her cheek before I say:  
“But what, love?”  
“But the thought of something happening to you makes me nauseous. I just met you, why is this a thing?”  
“Dad says the night he met Mama he knew she was it for him. She didn’t cooperate, of course, so he ended up dating another woman and having a kid with her, Abel’s half-brother Thomas. But he never stopped thinking about Mama, worrying about Mama, wanting to protect her…Grandma says she’s only heard Dad completely broken five times in his life. When Mama was kidnapped, when she tried to kill herself, the two times she was diagnosed with cancer, and the day she died.”  
“So you’re saying that maybe I feel this way because we’re fated or something?”  
“Or you’re just crazy.”  
She wrinkles her nose and pushes me down the hall.  
“Asshole.”  
I smirk at her and continue walking backwards down the hall, leading her to my room. When I open the door she looks around at the swords on the walls and says:  
“You must feel really safe at night when the dragons come.”  
“It’s some of the collection Daddy had when he was a kid. We each have a third of it.”  
“Do either of your brothers remember him?”  
“Abel does, a little. He was three when Daddy died. He remembers his voice and the way he smelled. He remembers missing him, waking up crying for him.”  
“Did you always call Juice ‘Daddy’ and Jax ‘Dad’?”  
“No. When we were little it was the other way around, but as we got older and wanted to start calling Jax ‘Dad’, we switched to referring to Juice as ‘Daddy’.”

She steps closer to me and runs her fingers over my “Men of Mayhem” patch.  
“What does this mean?”  
“It means that I’ve killed people for the club.”  
“Abel has one too.”  
“Yeah. Xander’s the only one of us that doesn’t. Dad says Xander is too much like Daddy. That he could be consumed by his darkness if we put him in the position of having to use it. So Xander gets protected.”  
“And you and Abel don’t have that issue?”  
“Abel is just like Dad. He can turn his darkness on and off at will.”  
“And you?”  
“I’m like Mama. I live in the darkness. It’s my job to protect my brothers. Both my actual brothers and my SAMCRO brothers. I will do whatever I have to in order to keep the people I love safe. It’s why I’m so willing to go on the protection runs with the Mayans.”  
“You don’t seem like a bad guy.”  
“I don’t think I am.”  
“But you’ve killed people.”  
“Yes. I have. I shot someone in the head when he had a knife to Dad’s throat, and I killed a guy who hurt Letty.”  
“Who is Letty?”  
“Xander’s girlfriend. She’s the daughter of a Mayan.”  
“Protecting people you love.”  
“Protecting people I love. Can you handle that?”  
“Yeah. I think I can.”  
“Good.”

I pull her close to me and kiss her as she pushes my kutte off my shoulders. When she pulls back a bit, she pulls my shirt off and says:  
“Let’s see if those sparks happen when we’re not just kissing.”  
“What do you want, Lilly?”  
“You.”  
She leans forward and puts her mouth against my ear before she whispers:  
“Fuck me, Juan Carlos.”


End file.
